Its fun to stay at the KFUM...

It was suggested to do a “Trip Advisor” type of blog evaluating the different venues we have stayed at. Over the years, we have used 4 main bases for our stays with last year probably ending our love affair with KFUM. Here is a review of the Accommodation offered in order of rating from lowest to highest.

Holtetskole

This was the one year that Branfjell was closed completely and we were along with all referees I think I’m right in thinking were relocated to Holtet Tramstop. It was the year that brought us debuts from some legends like Tony Welsh and Sid and some not so legendary aromas of John Heyman. The school offered us the first experience of all in the gym. If it was purely a holiday it would rate very highly with a pub within 200 yards, 3 supermarkets, a kebab shop and tram stop across the road.

However, for Norway Cup it was an utter bar steward. Referee Department was moved into KFUM which meant everyday trudging up the hill for fixtures, food, dommerbuss, my last ever 8am standby and the usual debacles held in Branfjell. This was before the days of smartphones so getting fixtures and appointments was utter carnage.

My 8am Standby that year was legendary as got there by 759am, and just slept on the balcony out of the way before my “real games” started after lunchtime.

Final note, this was the year Coxy suggested that we should walk back from Grunnerlokka and it wouldn’t take long… It took us 3 hours and we walked in as Kim Fisher was leaving to get to his 8am game!

What it will be remembered for: Gym experience and the birthplace of Minge as the approved Advantage signal.

Pros: Next to Tram stop ideal for a drunken night out. Near shops and Kebabshop.

Cons: Bloody miles away from Norway Cup. John Heyman found his way there.

Overall: 1 hit wonder, great for amenities but utter excrement for Norway Cup. 4/10

Baekkaelagetskolen

We spent a total of 5 years in what became our adopted home as Branfjell became crowded and the British were a bit too party like for their liking. The Skole made history with many pranks (see Work Hard, Play Harder… blog) starting there, playing cricket, THAT statue incident, the photocopier room and awkward moments of penguins after they were knocked out by our refereeing skills. Whilst there was an on site café, we still had to goto Branfjell for our food when staying there.

I recall 3 different locations staying there. But the idea of putting us in a broom cupboard in what we now know as the HOTTEST summer ever and the shower situation was pretty damn tough. The 2 minute walk for a pizza and a bit further for Jacobs and the bus stop 74 for departure days, meant that there was a certain appeal of staying here.

What it will be remembered for: Statuegate, sharing with penguins, Mr Yellow and sweatbox 2015.

Pros: Decent location, not too far away from everywhere, Pizza and nice Cricket venue.

Cons: Showers were a farce at times, hot hot hot times and Statue was fucking solid.

Overall: first home away from home but not the best for keeping us happy. 6/10

Branfjell

Branfjell is the spiritual home of Norway Cup Referees. It offers Slop Shop, Referee Dept base, NORCORE and the stage. Branfjell will always be home of Referee Department with shower facilities offered at neighbouring KFUM. Classrooms meant the UK referees were quite divided but offered everything in one place including meals, appointments and tables for ramblings, cards and whether we get in or on a plane. Other amenities included massages, yellow people, drinks and TV. Location has always been great for the drunk bus, tram stop at Sportsplassen which boasts that fecking hill and WC facilities.

Even now, we will always go back to Branfjell to relax and catch up with people.

What lets Branfjell down – simple. The toilets. Its fucking miles away. 5 flights of stairs which for your first one in the morning is a chore, for coming in drunk is a risky 5 flights for roulette and there is the smell. That Thursday ripe smell.

What it will be remembered for: where it all began and the spiritual home of Norway Cup Referee Department

Pros: Everything under one roof (showers exception), Drunk bus stops here! Ideal for a 8am kick off at Kunstgrasse 7! Lockers.

Cons: Toilet roulette, division in the troops and changes in the hall

Overall: it’s the epicenter of referee department but never quite felt like home. Not ideal when you desperately need a pee… 7.5/10

KFUMHallen

Home. Simple as that. Its home.

I do remember a slight air of apprehension – would it work. Everyone under one roof? Sure we did it once in Holtet but that was many years ago. But its brilliant. What more can we ask for? Ensuite, Scouse bar ideally placed, fridge, away from the hustle of branfjell but close enough to be part of the action. Next to Dommerbuss. Pretty much everyone now has their sports.

The other amazing thing about KFUM – if the climate is right, you can have a lakeside view. Yeah its really prone to getting flooded! I missed last years and seems a shame that might be the last ever night in KFUM.

Very hard to come up with downsides. Yes it can flood reasonably easy, the fight over lights with Europe and can struggle for wifi. But its home. As John Legend said we love all the imperfections.

With the Hall earmarked for demolition for the new stadium, Its going to be hard to replace KFUM in the future…

What it will be remembered for: probably Spuds floating past the fire exit door whilst asleep

Pros: Its just home innit.

Cons: Prone to flooding, continuous fights with Europe over lights

Overall: Think I’ve milked it enough to know its my favourite. 9/10